mga pagmumuni ni carmen

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right. “Ironic,” Alanis Morissette

You never know what life has in store for you. I am still reeling from the news and coping with it as best as I know how. In this case, it means not talking about it with anyone because doing so makes it more real. By keeping it unspoken and tucked at the back of my mind, I can sometimes fool myself into thinking that it’s all a dream.

But then I remember. And when I do, I have to stop whatever I’m doing and concentrate and focus on breathing slowly, evenly, one, two, three, because if I don’t I will surely vomit or faint or lose control or do all of the above in quick succession.

I feel lost and scared. I spent part of my nights in Bora patiently sitting by the swimming pool, staring at the blanket of stars, waiting for a falling star, thinking that if I could wish hard enough and frequently enough, I could make it all go away.

But it’s not in my hands, it’s in His.

Please grant my prayer.

You know I’d do anything.